Fly by Melina Soochan & Don Gruv

Don Gruv partners up with established Montreal singer Melina Soochan to deliver a great extended house mix to all the clubbers of Montreal.  Check it out here:

Check out more of Melina Soochan’s here – www.melinas-music.com

Check out more of Don Gruv here – http://www.myspace.com/dongruv

my514 on the Team 990am

Rick Di Corpo had the privilege of being asked to appear on the Oranges at Halftime show with Noel Butler on the Team 990 (990am).  Video edited by Michael Di Corpo.

Derby della Madonnina, even better up close

Sunday was reportedly set to be a rainy day so we weren’t sure what to expect in terms of the game.  The reports of thundershowers didn’t hamper the 42,000+ fans from tailgating to Gillette Stadium and swarming into the stadium.  The stands were mixed evenly with both Inter and Milan fans, but I could still make out the odd Barca, Palermo, Fiorentina and national team jerseys in the crowd.   Fans brought posters and flags of all shape and size including some funny ones like “Dove Antonio Cassano?”.  Glad to see the fine spirits of the fans picking up as the teams entered the field.

Inter were on the field first and immediately started their warm up, sprinting and passing exercises.  They waved to the fans and shook some hands but I got the sense that they wanted to prepare as much as they could for the game.  The goalie coaches were taking shots at Julio Caesar with such power I oo’d and ahh’d at every one he saved.

Milan took to the field next and similarly many players waved and shook hands with the crowd.  Their pre-game warm up consisted primarily of stretches and passing exercises, but I felt that they were yet again not being as technical in their preparation as Inter was.  Ronaldinho took time to sign some autographs for the fans and then threw red promotional balls into the crowd (picture on right).

First Half:

The game started with Inter almost running circles around Milan’s defense.  Milan looked sluggish and it took merely 4 minutes for Inter to score a goal via Diego Milito.  He single handedly out maneuvered Onyewu amd Zambrotta on the left flank before hammering the ball in the 2 foot gap between Kalac and the post.  It was beautiful.  Milan responded with Ronaldinho feeding the ball to Pato on the wing but he kept getting held up by Inter’s defense time and time again, it was as if no matter where Pirlo or Ronaldinho fed the ball there was always a midfielder or a defender of Inter to block the pass/shot.

The funniest part of the first half was at the 35th minute when Ronaldinho drew a yellow card for a rough foul on Lucio but the referee pulled out his red card instead of the yellow.  The whole crowd could be heard screaming “WHAT WAS THAT?”  Luckily the referee realized his mistake, smiled & apologised and drew the yellow instead.

Second Half:

Milan wanted to get back on top this half but were yet again falling into the same old traps and routines as in the first half, they looked tired on top if it and seemed to be ever frustrated with failed attempt after failed attempt.  Pato made a couple of decent attempts but Julio Caesar was always there to scoop the balls up.  Inter’s second goal came at the 75th minute yet again by a superb strike by Milito fed by Viera.   Gattuso’s frustration was evident as he was diving everywhere and throwing himself on every loose ball that came his way.  A beast of a header by substitute Materazzi off of Boriello’s cross was just what the crowd asked for as I could hear the collective “wow!” coming from the mouths of thousands of fans.

The game ended Inter up 2-0 and Milan were left to think about what steps to take next.  I don’t believe Leonardo is to blame because he was part of the staff that brought Kaka to Milan in 2005 and Pato to Milan in 2007.  I see Milan as being in some kind of monetary trouble due to the fact that of the 65 million euro transfer fee payed to Milan by Real Madrid, very little has been spent in filling the hole he left.  What adds to my suspicion is the failed transfer of Cissokho from Porto due to bad teeth (of all the lousy excuses…), Luis Fabiano and Edin Dzeko due to Milan not wanting to pay their high transfer fees.

Milan are acting like a cheap date, one that we wish would either step up and pay for dessert or stop trying to pretend it’s still hot shit.  There’s still a month left in the transfer market, we’ll see what happens next!

Photos taken by Franco Reale, Samy Sood, Arturo Saltarelli & Rick Di Corpo

World Football Challenge – Milan Practice

We continue our coverage of the World Football Challenge with AC Milan’s practice.  Milan spent Saturday afternoon signing autographs for fans at a soccer store outside of Gillette Stadium while Inter were practicing.  One minor thing of note while we waited to see the players of Milan’s autograph session was that while everyone left the team bus wearing their Milan tracksuits, Ronaldinho exited wearing a white polo and black shorts.  Ronaldinho also left the autograph session on his own means and didn’t arrive to the practice with the rest of the team, he showed up using his own method of transportation.  I also received reports from the staff of Gillette stadium that Ronaldinho had food flown in from Milano, Italy that was specially cooked for him.  On their own these little tidbits might just be minor events not worth a second glance, but coupled with his early exit at the practice session makes me wonder how much control young coach Leonardo has over his star player.

On the pitch half of the players including Pirlo, Pato, Ronaldinho, Zambrotta, Flamini and Nesta chose to simply do stretching excercises in preparation for Sunday’s game.  The rest of the players such as new acquisition Onyewu, new captain Ambrosini, Odo, and Gattuso played practice drills and a friendly scrimage.  I kept my eye on Onyewu to see how his physical presence was interacting with the other European players, and to my surprise he was holding his own and completing his passes.  Gattuso is another player I was watching as his poor form in the Confederations Cup from his year long absence due to the knee injury he suffered last season.  Rinho’s fiery spirit and passion was something that shone through throughout the practice, he was one of the first on the field and the last one off the field as he made the tour of the stadium signing autographs and waving to the hundreds of fans who showed up to the practice session.

The vice-captain’s rage in an earlier WFC match versus Club America

I got the feeling that Milan was taking this practice session as more of a publicity deal than a serious game.  Compared to Inter’s practice session I felt that Milan just wasn’t taking it seriously except for select players.  We asked Milan’s newest acquisition Oguchi Onyewu how he felt wearing the Milan jersey; he joked: “[I feel] the same like you wearing your t-shirt.”

I hope for Milan fans everywhere that these players start taking their pre-season training more seriously otherwise there won’t be so many smiling fans waiting for them in Milano.

Photos taken by Franco Reale, Samy Sood, Arturo Saltarelli & Rick Di Corpo

World Football Challenge – Inter Practice

my514.com had the exclusive pleasure of being Montreal’s only World Football Challenge representatives at Gillette Stadium in Foxborough, Massachusetts on July 26th.  Our trip on the field in both teams’ practice sessions & game gave us a close look at what exactly Serie A giants Inter Milan & AC Milan had in store this upcoming season.

Today I give an in depth look at Inter Milan’s practice session on Saturday, July 25th.

The practice started with simple passing and shooting drills and then progressed to a pickup calcetto game.  Under Mourinho’s reign, Inter has seen a more disciplined and tactical squad emerge.  The whole team practiced in unison and moved quickly and efficiently to cover their respective men, cut off passing angles and create chances for members of their side.  The players worked themselves vigorously but did not over-extend themselves as it was only a friendly.  It was really interesting to watch Inter’s new Milito-Motta duo in action, their solid chemistry transferred over from Genoa and I could see them feed each other the ball as if they were telepathic.  Once finished with their practice the players and coaching staff took time to autograph jerseys and balls of the hundreds of fans who came early to watch their favorite players in action.

Inter fans all over are reeling over the loss of Ibrahimovic to Barcelona this week so I wanted to get some answers on what the players and coach Jose Mourinho thought about their chances at not only winning the Scudetto this season but also the Champion’s League trophy.  I caught up with Mr. Mourinho on the sidelines of Gillette Stadium as he observed AC Milan practicing and asked him specifically what his thoughts were on the aforementioned question.  His response was: “We’re going to win without [Ibrahimovic], don’t you worry”.  Many of the players including Maicon, Quaresma and Julio Caesar echoed similar remarks but how would the likes of recently acquired Genoa stars Thiago Motta and Diego Milito add to Inter’s mix to give them the winning edge?  Mario Balotelli had a short practice and retired to the sidelines before any questions could be asked on his recent FIFA U-21 championship participation.

Check out our pictures and be sure to stay tuned as my514.com brings you in-depth access to World Football Challenge’s Derby Della Madonnina.

Photos taken by Franco Reale, Samy Sood, Arturo Saltarelli and Rick Di Corpo.

Tango Restaurant in Centropolis: Shitty service & Drinks Starting with the Ownership

I rarely complain about an eatery but my friends and I were disrespected by the owner of this little cafe and it needed venting.

My friends and I got to Tango Cafe at 10pm ish a couple days ago and proceeded to get some coffee’s, alcoholic beverages, and a bit of munchies.  We also decided to play Italian cards outside on the terrace (something we’ve done time and time again at countless other restaurants like Universe).  My buddy orders a martini that they mess up (they tried to pass off a Gin+7up in a Martini glass as a martini), we told the waitress but didn’t make a big deal of it.

A good 30+ minutes after we arrive and start playing (after we ordered) the owner tells the waitress to tell us to stop playing games outside because it makes it look like there’s gambling going on outside LOL.  we look to each other shocked and inform the waitress that we’re just playing Italian cards (scopa), she repeats that she’s really sorry but the owner asked us to stop.

we ask to speak to the owner to get some clarification.  she goes back in and then comes back out with 2 other waiters who tell us they’re really sorry but we need to stop playing, the owner says if he has to come outside he’s going to kick us all out!

ALL THIS WHILE THERE IS A FUCKING LOTO-QUEBEC PARTY LITERALLY 5 FEET AWAY AT THE RESTAURANT NEXT DOOR!!

we raised our volumes so the other customers could hear and told her, you know what tell your boss that we feel incredibly disrespected and he just lost 7 customers, we payed and left immediately.

I understand that it’s his place but the fact that the owner didn’t even have the fucking balls to come outside and talk to his customers himself he got a poor waitress to do his dirty work for him and then treated us like we were fcucking garbage is totally disrespectful.  No class, no balls, not going back ever.

ps. $20 for double apple shisha that tastes like it came out of a camel’s ass = extra fail

/rant

Here’s some similar reviews from other people on restomontreal.com

By: Arline

yummy cocktails and crepes! biggest projector (tv screen), modern and nice ambiance.
Must go with friends and/or family …. too bad it was HORRIBLE service though … all 3 times

By: ppereira

I consider the service of the restaurant very poor.
I called to make a reservation for a group. About twenty minutes upon the reservation was confirmed, the manager called back to ask me at what time we were planning to leaving the restaurant because he needed the table he had assigned to my group for another group. Needless to say that I cancelled the reservation… When the MANAGER of the restaurant is so anxious to see you out of his restaurant and you have not yet arrived IT SAYS IT ALL ABOUT THE SERVICE!!!!…..

Life as a St. Patrick’s Day Bouncer

I thought I would describe in detail what St. Patrick’s day for a bouncer is like. Now, I haven’t even bothered mentioning all the drunken people puking everywhere, and instead opted to tell the stories that I felt really stood out in my mind that night.

Incident 1: The manager of the club tells us to come upstairs and stop a couple from having sex in the washroom. We interrupt their love making and kick them out.

Incident 2: Right after we kick them out two girls hysterically argue with the manager about how we need to intervene and free a lady from her European pimps. Apparently, they overheard the girl say, “I don’t want to be here”, and construed that as “I am being held against my will”. Despite the fact that we wouldn’t want to get involved in anything surrounding organized crime in the slightest, we seriously doubt that the girl in question was a sex worker, especially considering we were taking this on the word of two obviously inebriated young ladies. However, try talking to two drunk girls who are adamant in their beliefs, telling you that you know nothing while they on the other hand are “experts” because they took a measly McGill course on the matter. Anyhow, we had to throw out these hysterical bitches and even had to call the cops to have them escorted out. It took forever for the cops to arrive.

Incident 3: As we are dealing with the girls in incident 2, the couple from incident 1 appear… with a police cruiser. I however, was unaware that this was the same couple because, well, I was just out of it. Anyhow, apparently these idiots tried taking a cab to go to the girl’s house to have a little booty call. Unfortunately, they didn’t have enough money for the cab so the driver called the cops to force them to pay their fare. The guy comes back to the bar where his friends have money to give him. But it seems the company he kept were less intelligent than average, and doubly less intelligent than average when under the influence of alcohol. So one of his friends, believing one of the police officers to be a government agent of oppression and control (I assume), threw a beer bottle at the cop while yelling “fucking pig”. Naturally the cop grabbed the dude, arm locked him, and shoved him into the police cruiser.

Incident 4: Since I let the girl back in by mistake we had to kick her out once again. We grabbed her and she started balling her head off crying in drunken incoherent babble. As we were dragging the drunkard off some dude from the New York Fire Department (he had his uniform on) comes in Superman style and demands to know what we are doing. I look at him and tell him we are bouncers, we are kicking the lady out, and that he is preventing us from doing our job. Despite the situation being obvious it appears this dude believed we were trying to harm the lady and tried to “save the day” and free her. Unfortunately the St. Patrick’s Day beer didn’t grant him superpowers of any sort so we quickly choked him out and threw him outside alongside the dumb girl he was trying to protect.

Incident 5: The manager calls us up to let us know that some dude is pissing on the wall upstairs near the exit. By the time we got up he finished his business and calmly exited the bar.

Incident 6: I go back downstairs, and this creepy looking dude that looks like he came out of a Death Row rap music video is holding out a pitcher of beer and telling me to take it. I look at him and I am like, “excuse me?”. He goes on and on until I just walk away from the idiot. But I kept my eye on him and watched the dude walk around with a violent chip on his shoulder. At one point I decided enough was enough and got some back up to throw him out. When we came to escort him out his friend came to intervene and by the end we had to forcibly push them both outside. When we reached outside he was yelling all sorts of expletives and curses, saying he was going to kill us and yadayadayada. He did all of this within earshot of two peace officers and they soon approached him to try to calm him down. He then proceeded to curse the police and yell, “You wanna shoot me? Shoot me then, I don’t give a fuck!”, and then even pushed one of the cops. Now I thought for sure the police were going to do a Rodney King on the dude and beat him up big time, but instead one of the officers just kicked him back and drew out his pepper spray. The black dude then just shouted some more curses, and then walked away towards St. Cat’s. I guess the cops didn’t want to file the paper work. On a day like St Pat’s, you just got let a lot of stuff slide.

Conference de Montreal: Black Masks & Bankers

http://www.conferencedemontreal.com/

MONTREAL — Today marked the first day of the four-day Conference of Montreal, this year entitled “Adapting to a New World Order.” Present at the conference is a who’s who of international finance and politics, including the heads of the World Bank and the IMF, Presidents, Prime Ministers, and a large assortment of other Bilderberg and NWO elitists. Presiding over the whole affair is none other than Paul Desmarais Jr., a member of Montreal’s leading Bilderberg family. This is the fifteenth anniversary of the Conference of Montreal. The conference is taking place at the Bonaventure Hilton in downtown Montreal until Thursday.

The whole place was under a heavy police lockdown, and getting footage from inside was next to impossible without proper media credentials. Nonetheless we were able to get information from media sources inside about what is being discussed.

According to reporters we spoke with, today’s meetings dealt mostly with the economic crisis and what strategies should be employed to deal with it. When we asked if there was any mention of the North American Union, we were told that would be happening on Wednesday. One of the reporters gave us the schedule for the next four days and indeed, on Wednesday, there is a Luncheon at noon entitled “The Americas and the New World Order” headlined by Madeleine Albright which may or may not be a discussion of the North American Union. The descriptive blurb in the schedule describes it thusly: “How can the Americas make changes to play their part in the establishment of a more stable, and fair, basis for international prosperity?”

Several unmarked police cars escorted people out of the building all day, and though protesters burned an effigy of Mr. Desmarais on the sidewalk in front of the Hilton, no one was arrested. The police came along after the protesters had dispersed and extinguished the remaining embers.

Some notables from the list of guests this year include:

Madeleine Albright, Former U.S. Secretary of State
Dominique Strauss-Kahn, Managing Director, IMF
Robert Zoellick, President, The World Bank Group
Jean-Claude Trichet, President, European Central Bank
Guillermo Ortiz Martinez, Governor, Central Bank of Mexico
Mark Carney, Governor, Bank of Canada
Alvaro Uribe, President of the Republic of Colombia
Angel Gurria, Secretary-General, OECD

In addition there are numerous ministers from governments all over the globe and from the UN, as well as executives from General Electric, Goldman Sachs, Cisco Systems, GDF SUEZ, The Canadian Chamber of Commerce and others.

Each day of the conference has a different theme. Today’s theme was Economy and Governance. The meeting opened at 8:30 a.m. with a lecture from the head of the IMF, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, entitled: “Towards a New Global Order.” Other events today had titles like “A New World Governance” and “Thriving in a New Financial Order.” Cocktails after a long day of running the globe were at 5.

The themes for the next three days are:

Tuesday, June 9: Energy, Health and Sustainable Development
Wednesday, June 10: International Trade and the Americas
Thursday, June 11: International Finance

The closing luncheon on Thursday at noon entitled “The Economic Crisis and the Role of Central Banks: How Far Can They Go?” sounds like a snore-fest at first, with two Central Bank governors, Mexico’s and Canada’s, giving a speech. However, the lecture’s subtitle indicates that it is something we should all hear: “NAFTA and the Economic Recovery: The Required Joint Action Between North American Central Banks.”

A full list of all the events of the four-day conference can be downloaded in PDF form here:

http://www.conferencedemontreal.com/…09/Program.pdf

Ontario Kids vs. the Break Dancing Bum

Crescent is home to all sorts of tourist delights. Exotic strippers, cheap booze available at several different bars, great nightclubs, etc. But perhaps Crescent’s biggest draw is the amount of messed up bums that do their weekend hustle begging for change. Sure most of them are just run of the mill hobos, but a few of them make a name for themselves as being truly nuts.

Take for example Jean the Break Dancer. Jean calls himself the best break dancer in Montreal and shows off his skills all over downtown. You give a little bit of change and he’ll wow you for a few seconds with some cool moves.

Unfortunately our friend suffers from a little a drug addiction and his judgment has been significantly impaired. There would be times where there would be a group of guys fighting over some nonsense and here comes Jean the Break Dancer passing by. Jean will say something to the group, then they will heckle back in annoyance, and then afterwards Jean the Break Dancer would do some spinning break dance move that kicks the guy in the mouth and then run off triumphant.

To get to the point of this little story, a tour bus brought over 5000 Ontario kids to Montreal to party for March Break a few months ago. These kids went buck wild. The guys are sexually starved and insecure, the girls think they are hot shit with daddy and mommy’s money, none of them know what it is like to drink out because they are still minors in Ontario, and among other things they are in a totally new city surround by sin and no supervision. Also, Ontario kids just tend to be more disrespectful in general for one reason or another (I know I am being stereotypical but sue me).

With all these factors it wasn’t surprising that a 60 man brawl happened outside one of the clubs. It was just pathetic. There would be people talking bullshit, then stuff would calm down, then some jerk would throw a punch and anarchy would ensue. This process would go on repeatedly throughout the night and it was just total mayhem.

Then out of nowhere guess who shows up but Jean the Break Dancer. Unfortunately for him he broke his leg doing god knows what, forcing him to hit the streets in a wheelchair begging for change probably. He sees the fight going on and instead of thinking “shit I should get out of here” his sick drugged out mind thinks “I WANT IN!!!” So he gets up off his wheelchair on one leg and starts doing superman punches into the crowd. Then he later goes behind his wheelchair, throws it into the crowd like a bowling ball, and knocks down two jabroni Ontario punks.

I am trying to think up of some funny way to end the story, but I think the image of a Break Dancing bum fighting on one leg using his wheel chair as a rolling projectile is enough. More stories soon.

Andrew Searles – Comedian with a cause

Ever wonder what that strange sensation is when you feel your legs getting numb and your cheeks hurting? That’s comedian Andrew Searles taking control of your body through his telekinetic powers instructing you to destroy mankind.

Seriously it’s probably a tumor; you should have it checked out… On a related issue, you may be wondering who Andrew Searles is? You may have seen him perform at the 25^th Just for Laughs Anniversary, his stints at Comedy Werks or heard his routines on XM radio. Andrew is a favorite at college campuses and regularly tours Montreal’s CEGEP’s and Universities, it was through his college tours that I first came across him more than 5 years ago. Andrew is one of Montreal’s brightest and fastest rising comedians and has already opened for world renowned comedians such as: Joey Elias, Sugar Sammy, Russell Peters, Al Lubel, and tons more.

Varying from life experiences, to growing up as an African-Canadian (his “Kill the Bwoy” is a must see), to celebrity impersonations; Andrew proves time and time again that keeping material fresh is key to success in the tough market of comedy. With the tons of comedians coming out of the woodwork, how can any comedian make it in such a tough industry? Here’s a few of questions Andrew answered for me:

Andrew’s technique and delivery has been developing for over 5 years ever since his friends dared him to go on stage at a John Abbott College talent show in 2002. I’ve had the honor of being at that gig and let me tell you, things have certainly improved since then.  His mannerisms (like the many impersonations) are now uniquely his instead of what was once a mixture of original and emulated technique.  I definitely get a sense of Eddie Murphy while watching and listening to Andrew but I don’t see it as being a bad thing because he’s growing as a comedian and he’s also turning what he’s learned into his own style, which is the important part.

To get a better idea of what guided and still directs Andrew to make people laugh the way he does I asked him a few questions:

What was your first turning point which made you want to become a comedian? How did you first start writing your material? Was it trial & error or did you modify jokes you’ve heard before?

I’d say the turning point began in early 2001 in my final years of Riverdale High School, and I’ve always loved doing Drama class. I did a Bill Cosby impersonation which the fellow students loved and begged me to do all the time. Few months passed by and a friend suggested I join the school play. It was a small one-lined role, but in between rehearsals, there was a bar set so I would get behind the bar and do impressions of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Eddie Murphy, and Keanu Reeves all being bartenders to help pass the time and entertain others while we weren’t doing anything. Just watching people laugh, the joy, and the pleasure I got from doing that definitely felt euphoric, and something I wanted to further pursue in.

Starting off writing was hard because I had no base or prior experience to start off with, so it required a lot of watching other comedians perform like Joey Elias, Russell Peters, Eddie Murphy, and analyzing why their telling the joke , how they delivered the joke, and more importantly, the punch-line. Then it was a matter of taking what I learned and applying it to my own experiences. Finding what I think to be funny, and then the process of writing, writing and more writing, until I had the setup, and the punch-line. Definitely required a lot of trail and error until I had the finished product; A great joke.

Where did you get your first big break? Were you scared, if so how did you deal with the pressure?

I was taking a summer class in 2002 with a buddy of mine, and on the last class for of the summer session, he made me do impressions in front of the class, which the students and the teacher loved. Since we would be starting John Abbott College together in the fall, he dared me to try it then stage. So Fall 2002 came, first semester of John Abbott and I performed for the first time on stage on October 1, 2002, opening for Ryan Wilner and Joey Elias. About 300-400 people in the crowd, and it was a success! People loved me and I guess I was an instant celebrity in the hallways of Abbott. I was pretty calm about performing in front of a crowd that size. Sizes of the crowd never really fazed me, just remembering and doing what I had to do is something im more worried about.

Time and time again we see comedians spring up, have an amazing boom and then fizzle down slowly because they are unable to come up with relevant and up to date routines. How hard do you work at coming up with new material, or is it something that comes naturally (ie. Talking to yourself in the car to work and BOOM, awesome joke)?

That’s pretty much the entertainment business. Everybody has their 15 minutes of fame. But to me, it’s a matter of what you that decides how fast (overnight success to a nobody) or slow (popular for a long time) those 15 minutes go by. You see it in the acting industry, music industry, and comedy industry is no acceptation. It’s only by being constant and staying true to who you are, not getting too caught up in the glitz & glamour when success happens. Reinventing yourself is a good way to ensure you don’t disappear into yesterday’s news forever. That way you’re always fresh and new each time.

New material is hard to develop but fun to play with when you have it. Sometimes I’ll notice something that I find funny, and I’ll be somewhere just repeating it to myself when suddenly it all becomes clear and *pop*, a new joke is born. It’s just waiting to get that *pop* in your head, that’s where it becomes a real mind job. Many times I’ll have the great premise, great setup but nothing for the punch-line. My joke on Viagra took me 4 years to get it the way it is now through years of rewrites and then one day it *popped* in my head, I finally had a punch-line that I was very satisfied with. But I’d definitely say repeating jokes to yourself and looking like a crazy guy in public is one way for a joke to suddenly be born.

Coming up with material is one thing, but delivery is another. How did you learn to properly deliver a joke? Is it an ongoing learning process?

Definitely an ongoing process, no question. We all know the saying “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it”, well that definitely defines comedy. A lot of it is a play on words. Emphasizing one word and deemphasizing another in the punch-line can definitely decide if you get a big laugh or not. Even intonation plays a huge role. Saying the punch-line in a happy tone as opposed to a low monotone, or vice versa can really decide if you get an applause or not. When you’re starting off as an amateur comedian, you will definitely go through a phase of figuring out what kind of delivery you should have for your material, but the more experienced you get, the more you’ll know right away of “I should say it this way, and not that way. And stress more on this word, etc”

How cutthroat is the comedy industry? As a new guy breaking in, did you have a hard time being taken legitimately? Are you taken legitimately now or do you still have to fight for air time?

I find Montreal is definitely not as cutthroat as other cities (from what I hear). I heard in other cities, comics will set on each other just to get stage time, and stab each other in the back (not literally, I hope) to get stage time. Hearing this really scares and very much distasteful for my liking. I’m very happy that I’m doing comedy in Montreal. I find here we’re friends on and off of stage. We help each other for shows. One comic invites me to do one show, the next time I invite him. We’re scratching each other’s back instead of sticking a knife in them. But you still need a little competition, keeps everybody on their toes.
New guys and even I at one time had to shine a bit extra harder just to show we actually have potential and not an “I only have 5 minutes of jokes” kind of image.

But once you’re in, you get a good amount of respect and stage time. Sometimes it feels like I’m fighting for stage time. But the clubs operate on a rotation, just so the audience doesn’t see the same comedians all the time. Which is clearly understandable, but sometimes you get that comedy itch to get on stage but you can’t scratch it because you’re on a rotation. It sucks but it’s got to be fair.

Do you have a manager? Any advice on how to pick a manager, what to expect from one and how to move on from a failing one?

Right now, no. But unless you’re a superstar like Sugar Sammy where you’re in constant demand, I’d say you definitely don’t need a manager (not yet anyways). But if you happen to find one that will get you a lot of gigs, why not. Go for it!

Tough crowds are killer and can ruin a novice comedian in an instant. How do you deal with the jerks in the crowd, hecklers, people walking out on you and the people not paying attention?

Luckily I’ve seen and dealt with very few hecklers in the crowd, so the thought never comes to mind when I’m about to hit the stage. But the only way to do it and deal with them (especially if you’re a novice) is to just keep going and completely ignore them. The second you go after them, you draw more attention to them and that’s what they want. It’s like a showdown at the O.K. Corral. You versus them. The audiences want to see who has the bigger gun.  So if take that approach, its best you have a quick joke that will burn them. Otherwise the show goes into a downward spiral. The heckler will talk and talk, the comic will feel horrible if not insulted, and the audience will get annoyed as the show is ruined by the heckler. But I’ve seen shows where the heckler goes after the comic who’s a pro, and wow, the comebacks that the comic throws out is just incredible. Destroys the heckler, wins back the crowd and the show goes on.

I’ve done shows where I’m on stage and people are eating, talking, walking about. Not really a great feeling. If they got the jokes, if they didn’t, it’s not your problem and certainly not your fault. In either of these cases, just ignore the obstacles and just focus on doing what you were hired to do.

When can we see Jerry Seinfeld opening up for Andrew Searles?

Hahaha. I spoke to Jerry today; he said he’ll open for me when I have a sitcom that can do 10 seasons on the air, Multiple Emmy and Golden Globe nominations and wins. And maybe then, he’ll try not to run me over with the 200 Porsches he has.
We hope you’ll take a look at Andrew and support a local up and coming superstar through his many websites and upcoming events:

http://www.andrewsearles.com/
http://www.myspace.com/andrewkomic
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2376805311
http://www.facebook.com/pages/ANDREW-SEARLES-Comedian/60934552864

Upcoming Events

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